Sexual abuse in childhood
Childhood sexual abuse has tremendous long-term emotional, psychological, sexual and relational effects on the survivor. Healing from childhood sexual abuse is possible.
The impact of child sexual abuse in adult survivors are:
'I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival'
-Audre Lorde
As a psychosexual & relationship therapist and a trauma therapist, I often work with the trauma of sexual abuse, and I have seen change and healing happen before my eyes.
It is important not to stay silent. It is important to heal. Healing is possible. When it happens, it is the most precious gift that you can give to yourself and an act of love to your body.
'Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten'
-G.K.Chesterton
Rape
Sexual violence is any sexual act or attempt to obtain a sexual act by violence or coercion.
It includes unwanted sexual comments or advances, acts to traffic a person or acts directed against a person's sexuality, regardless of the relationship to the victim.
It is widespread and is considered to be one of the most traumatic, pervasive, and most common human rights violations.
I specialise in male victims of sexual violence.
Coming out also applies when we start to think about our gender. The process of questioning our gender is often misunderstood, leaving people feeling isolated and open to humiliation and bullying by others.
The process of coming out begins when we start to recognise our attitudes and feelings towards our own sexuality and gender. Comparing ourselves to the social and family ‘norms’ governing aspects of our lives, it may seem that our sexuality or gender is ‘abnormal’ or ‘deviant’, especially as our world is filled with heteronormative messages about what people believe to be ‘normal’ and ‘right’.
Psychotherapy will help you challenge these social conditionings and enable you to decide for yourself what is right for you. I provide a humanistic, non-judgmental, safe space for you to explore your sexuality, sexual feelings and gender identity in depth in order for you to make sense of it all. This process will enable you to make choices for what is best for you, including steps and strategies for coming out, and the considerations to keep safe.
Under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it is an offence for any male to penetrate with his penis the vagina, anus or mouth of a female or male without their consent. Male rape became recognised in law in 1994 but the 2003 legislation made victims of rape gender neutral.
Sexual assault is when any male or female intentionally touches another person sexually without his or her consent.
Male sexual violence happen much more often than people think. In fact, it is estimated that 1 in 18 men have been raped or sexually assaulted as an adult (1.34 million men in total).
4 in 5 men don’t report their abuse to the police because of embarrassment, or they didn’t think the police could help, or they thought it would be humiliating.
Assault by penetration is when any male or female penetrates the vagina or anus of another person without their consent. The offence is committed where the penetration is by a part of the body (for example, a finger) or anything else (for example, an object) for sexual intent.
It is a permission or agreement. This is something that must be clearly established between two people before any kind of sexual act or behaviour can take place.
You can change your mind at any time.
In the UK, it is not possible to give consent if you are under the age of 16.
As a psychosexual & relationship therapist and a trauma therapist, I often work with the trauma of sexual violence, and I have seen change and healing happen before my eyes.
It is important not to stay silent. It is important to heal. Healing is possible. When it happens, it is the most precious gift that you can give to yourself and an act of love to your body.
Childhood neglect. Childhood adverse experiences.
What is childhood neglect?
Child neglect, or child abuse, refers to any behaviour by parents, caregivers, other adults or older adolescents that implies a significant risk of causing physical or emotional harm to a child or young person. Such behaviours may be intentional or unintentional.
Child abuse and neglect include:
Physical abuse
Emotional maltreatment
Emotional neglect, including withdrawing of care.
Sexual abuse
Witnessing family violence
The consequences of experiencing child abuse and neglect will vary considerably. For some adults, the effects of child abuse and neglect creates significant psychological disturbances. In other adults, the effects are less debilitating. It often depends on the frequency and duration of maltreatment and if more than one type of maltreatment has occurred. It also depends on who the perpetrator(s) were.
Chronic maltreatment is defined as "recurrent incidents of maltreatment over a prolonged period of time" (Bromfield & Higgins, 2005).
The most important is how the child perceived their experiences at the time. Something believed to be a 'minor' incident can be perceived as huge by the child. However, there are some adverse childhood experiences that are always traumatic. These include:
What is trauma?
A trauma is a single life event, or a series of life events that were disturbing or non-nurturing and has a long lasting psychological impact on the person causing the loss of functions such as, for example, keeping a job or social relationships.
There are four types of traumas:
Other types of traumas: Relational Trauma
A relational trauma is a trauma that is particularly inflicted on one person by another, and is characterized by a “violation of human connection.” (Herman, 1992).
Relational trauma, often called attachment injuries, occurs when one person betrays, abandons, or refuses to provide support for another person with whom he or she has developed an attachment bond.
Sexual abuse.
Research in traumatology reveals that untreated trauma disrupts the nervous system and significantly alters the brain functioning.
Untreated trauma is the underlying cause of many mental health and behavioural disorders including depression and addictions.
Untreated trauma can remain undiagnosed for years. Often, trauma has its roots in early childhood development. An event in later life can trigger mental and physical symptoms that become distressing and overwhelming for the individual.
People trying to cope with unresolved psychological trauma often resort to self-medicating with substances such as alcohol and drugs or with behaviours such as eating disorders, sex, gambling. These coping mechanisms often have an impact on the person’s relationships and sexual life, which means that many people with unresolved trauma find it difficult to maintain healthy and stable relationships.
Without treatment, it is difficult to recover from the effects of unresolved trauma and its lasting impact on the mind and body.
What is PTSD?
PTS stands for Post-Traumatic Stress.
PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
The symptoms of PTS are:
It is important to note that these symptoms are normal to experience immediately after traumatic event. If some of these symptoms persist one month after the traumatic event, a diagnosis of PTS can be formulated.
It is also important to remember that not everybody who has survived a traumatic event will develop PTS. Some people never do.
When the symptoms of PTS are chronic, they can lead to psychological disturbances such as:
PTSD is a specific psychological condition. It manifests with the same symptoms as PTS but it is more severe causing a high level of daily dysfunction.
Both PTS and PTSD can be treated with specific psychological trauma therapy.
Trauma Therapy
Many mental health problems have its roots in untreated trauma and its deep-seated psychological disturbances.
Unresolved trauma requires specific trauma-focused treatment. I am specifically trained to treat trauma. In my modality, I work towards regulating and restoring the emotional and psychological balance without re-triggering the nervous system with the traumatic materials.
My trauma therapy modality is integrative, which means that I use a range of psychological interventions to suit the client best.
My main modalities and interventions are:
Trauma therapy works in three phases:
1- Symptom reduction and regulation.
2- Processing traumatic memories.
3- Consolidation and integration.
Trauma resolution works in addressing the past, the present and the future.
It is important to note that generic talking therapy is often not sufficient to resolve trauma. It is necessary to employ trauma-focused therapy for trauma resolution.
'The wound is the place where the light enters you' - Rumi
EMDR
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
It uses the natural healing functions of the brain to heal itself.
Old disturbing memories are stored in the brain in isolation. This prevents learning and healing from taking place. The old distressing material just keeps getting triggered over and over. In another part of your brain, you already have most of the information you need to resolve this problem; the two just cannot connect. Once EMDR starts, a linking takes place. New information can come to mind and resolve the old problems.
It allows for the rapid re-processing of traumatic memories into a functional state.
EMDR has received the most positive outcome in research with 30 worldwide randomised controlled trials. Five out of seven indicates that EMDR is most effective to treat PTS and PTSD.
EMDR is now the recommended treatment for trauma in the UK by The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) (2005)
Online EMDR Therapy is available
The Flash Technique
The Flash Technique is a branch of EMDR which helps reduce disturbances associated with traumatic and distressing memories. This effective intervention is "gentle" because people can process their traumatic memories without talking about it in length or even consciously engaging in the traumatic memory.
I hold a certificate in The Flash Technique.
For more information on the Flash Technique: click here
Transformational Chairwork
I often practice Transformational Chairwork Therapy as part of trauma therapy.
Chairwork in a powerful therapeutic method addressing deep level of trauma re-processing. It can be used specifically for relational trauma, sexual abuse, neglect in childhood, healing after an affair, and the Inner Child therapeutic process.
There is a variety of ways that Chairwork can be used, it is a dynamic method with therapeutic guidance which provides healing and long-lasting positive changes.
Being Free of Trauma
Group Trauma Therapy
I offer group trauma therapy using a specific EMDR protocol (G-TEP), which studies has shown to be very effective to process recent or historic traumatic events in groups.
The group trauma therapy process lasts for two days (on a weekend) and helps to process and resolve traumatic events.
I am passionate to help people resolve events of mass trauma. I offer group trauma therapy for people who:
To discuss my fee for a weekend group trauma therapy, please contact me on sntherapy@gmail.com or 07958320565.
In some special circumstances, I’m happy to consider conducting a weekend group trauma therapy for free. Do not hesitate to contact me to discuss it.