Erotically Queer: A Pink Therapy Guide for Practitioners

Edited by Silva Neves and Dominic Davies

Erotically Queer is a practice guide for clinicians, bringing together experts in their field with pioneering topics within GSRD (gender, sex and relationship diversity).

Chapters cover an array of topics rarely discussed in either clinical or popular literature including lesbian sex, queer menopause, bisexuality, working with shame, the sex lives of asexuals, sexuality and transgender people, treating anodyspareunia, compulsive sexual behaviours and chemsex. It also helps practitioners reflect on their biases regarding BDSM/kink and understand more regarding non-pathologising practices with intersex people.

The book aims to help all clinicians work more effectively with the Queer population, with the most contemporary sexological knowledge.


"This volume adds to the existing Pink Therapy series by expanding the resources available for practitioners working with GSRD people across often challenging and, for some, controversial topics. The volume encompasses scenarios presenting in contemporary practice that are readily accessible for clinicians seeking knowledge from experienced practitioners. A clear message is that despite initially daunting and complex presentations, the volume provides authoritative practical pathways from top-notch experts to assist in identifying solutions within a competence informed therapeutic process."

Kevan Wylie, MD FRCP FESCM. Past President, World Association For Sexual Health

"It takes a while to acknowledge our biases and prejudices if we ever reach that point. Yet unchecked, we might think of providing the best service to our clients. ‘Erotically Queer’ questioned me: am I genuinely open to diversity? Through which lenses am I seeing my clients? When you come across such a book, you will know how much you commit to inclusivity and are brave to challenge your mindset constantly. It remains on my nightstand, as one reading is not enough."

Francesca Tripodi, Director, International Online Sexology Supervisors (IOSS)

"Erotically Queer, is a new volume of the Pink Therapy series, which brings together contributions from experts in the GSRD therapy field. Each chapter benefits from having the unfiltered and unique voice of the author as they take the reader on a rich and vibrant journey. This is an outstanding volume that is essential reading for all therapist at every level of experience whether in general or psychosexual practice."

Jo Coker, AccCOSRT(Sen) AccCOSRT (Sup) MBPsS FCOSRT. HCPC Counselling Psychologist. Professional Standards Manager COSRT

Relationally Queer: A Pink Therapy Guide for Practitioners

Edited by Silva Neves and Dominic Davies

Relationally Queer explores diverse intimate relationship styles and the connections with self for clinicians interested in gender, sex and relationship diversity.

Offering readers a more inclusive and queer-friendly way of thinking about relationships, the book covers a range of topics that include intersectionality, consensual non-monogamy, working with shame, intimate partner violence, religious identities, and living with HIV. Exploring beyond a Eurocentric perspective, the book features a chapter on African-centred therapy and also includes the relationships of often erased populations such as bisexual people, sex workers, people with chronic health issues and trans people.

The book will help psychosexual and relationship therapists, counsellors and psychologists who work with clients of diverse genders, sexualities and relationships.


"This volume is a must have for affirmatively working with queer clients and their relationships of today and tomorrow. Relationally Queer is as ground breaking to the psychotherapy field as earlier volumes of the Pink Therapy series. Chapters address areas ranging from challenging monogamism to counselling people who sex work to addressing health issues—and more! A thoughtful overview of the gender, sex, and relationship diversities (GSRD) framework is also provided."

Markie L.C Twist, PHD, LMFT, LMHC, CSE-S, Teaching Faculty, Antioch University New England; Editor-in-Chief, Sexual and Relationship Therapy

"Having trained relationship therapists -globally- for decades GRSD is of great value to me:  it recognises defines and positions a wide range of relationship expressions as either including everyone (and especially indigenous groups) or to stand accused of perpetuating colonialism. This work hits the spot and I commend the authors for this ground breaking, courageous work. I am particularly excited by the chapters on collectivist communities (African, Jewish, Muslim et al) in which individualist psychotherapy models have limited value"

Bernd Leygraf, Consultant Psychotherapist, CEO Naos-Institute ( and )

"Relationally Queer is THE book that all GSRD specialists (including mental health professionals in training) are waiting for. The publication fills in the gaps in existing writings on the topic. It not only gives a fresh perspective of how to talk about and talk to GSRD clients but also how to include practical tools into the therapeutical space. The importance of perspective "nothing about us without us" can help us create safer environment and change the world."

Agata Loewe-Kurilla, PhD, Psychotherapist, Sexologist, Sexospher and tutor. Founder of Sex Positive Institute

Sexology: The Basics

By Silva Neves

Sexology: The Basics is the contemporary manual of human sexuality, eroticism, and intimate relationships. It takes you to every corner of the human erotic mind and physiological arousal response for a thorough understanding of all the functional parts of our sexualities, including how we bond, love and have sex from a broad perspective of diversities in sex, gender, and relationships, from monogamy to polyamory, Vanilla to Kink. This book bridges the gaps in our knowledge of sex education.

It is the ultimate guide to answering all the questions you never dared to ask, whether you are a student or a professional, or want to make sense of our often confusing erotic world.


"Sexology: The Basics is a wonderful introduction to what we know about sex from research, theory, and therapeutic practice. Packed full of interesting facts, thoughtful reflection, and real-world examples, Silva has done a brilliant job of gathering together current knowledge and presenting it in a super accessible and engaging form. Each chapter ends with helpful questions we can ask ourselves, and signposts for how we can find out more. An inclusive and entertaining read, that highlights the diversity of sexual identities, desires, practices, and more."

Meg-John Barker, author of Sexuality: A Graphic Guide

"This book is a positive, normalising and informative contribution to us all learning more about sexology. Silva clearly explains the biopsychosocial approach to sexology with all of the moving parts that contribute to our sexual wellness. It offers context, both historical and current, explaining the current sexual and relationship landscape we live in today. Silva asks us to consider our own biases and position as a reader, in order to be more informed as professionals."

Kate Moyle, EFS & ESSM Certified Psycho-Sexologist & Host of Podcast: The Sexual Wellness Sessions

"This book is an absolute triumph! Silva shares his clinical expertise in a way that feels so accessible, there's a rich array of information, all presented with kindness and enthusiasm. He covers a broad range of topics to provide foundational information about his field, as well as looking at the ways in which sex and relationships can play out in the wider context of our lives. A must read for everyone interested in the world of sexology."

Ruby Rare, author of Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults

"Not to be pigeonholed into one area of clinical sexology (his book on compulsive sexual behaviour is a best seller and core text on many courses), but he has produced another fine book within a year of publication. I loved the breadth of content and the clarity and ease of approaching contemporary sexology. Still, most of all, I enjoyed the case vignettes which beautifully illustrate his key concepts."

Dominic Davies, Psychotherapist, Sexologist and Founder, Pink Therapy

Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians

By Silva Neves

Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians offers a unique approach to the struggles people face with their out-of-control sexual behaviours.

This comprehensive guide is deeply rooted in the science of sexology and psychotherapy, demonstrating why it is time to re-think the reductive concept of ‘sex addiction’ and move towards a more modern age of evidence-based, pluralistic and sex-positive psychotherapy. It is an important manual for ethical, safe and efficient treatment within a humanistic and relational philosophy.

This book will be an important guide in helping clients stop their compulsive sexual behaviours as well as for therapists to self-reflect on their own morals and ethics so that they can be prepared to explore their clients’ erotic mind.


"Silva Neves brings the understanding of compulsive sexual behaviors into the 21st century with a rigorous review of the past and latest literature and research. His argument that correct language dictates correct treatment is spot on and provides an exhaustive and comprehensive list of action steps for the initial assessment to ensure accurate assessment, diagnosis and treatment. His clinical examples bring all this to life through his clients. His plead for therapists to be not only sex positive but also pleasure positive is timely in a world that is missing proper sex education. I highly recommend this book."

Joe Kort, PhD is a sex and relationship therapist and co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.  

"Compulsive Sexual Behaviours is a much-needed book taking a sensible, critical, and pragmatic approach to the topic of 'sex addiction'. Silva's book offers an alternative model which puts pleasure, consent, and self-understanding at the heart of the therapeutic endeavour with people who struggle with their sexual behaviour. It contains everything you need to know about the theory and research in this area, plus a helpful and practical guide for practitioners about how to work around this theme with clients. The book is friendly, accessible, and engaging throughout, drawing pluralistically on relevant therapeutic and sexological approaches, and providing nicely inclusive examples of work with clients from across gender, sex, and relationship diversity." 

Meg-John Barker, author of Sexuality: A Graphic Guide, Enjoy Sex, and The Psychology of Sex.

"This pioneering textbook for therapists provides a wonderfully creative set of tools and techniques for how to work with people who feel their sexual behaviour is compulsive or out of control. This is a timely book. Just as the World Health Organisation has decided to include, for research purposes, a new diagnostic category to try to help clinicians assist patients who are concerned with their sexual behaviours. I am delighted to recommend the first European textbook to tackle Compulsive Sexual Behaviour (CSB) from a sex-positive perspective. Informed as it is, by the latest sexual science into the neurobiology of sex, Neves also delivers a powerful critique of the sex addiction movement in the UK and beyond. However, he offers us much more than this. He packs this book with tools, theories and metaphors for understanding and working with CSB. It will become an invaluable treatment manual for sexologists to help them help their patients decode their erotic templates and work towards a holistic model of biopsychosocial sexual health."

Dominic Davies, Fellow National Council of Psychotherapists, Founder of Pink Therapy

"Silva Neves takes a modern perspective on the treatment of compulsive sexual behaviours that moves away from the traditional single framework ‘sex addiction’ model to a more pluralistic approach. He deals respectfully with the difference of opinion between professionals working within the field and clearly articulates for the reader the distinctions between addiction and compulsivity, as well as the clinical issues with applying the addiction model to treatment. At all times the welfare of his client is central to his thinking and the chapter on Ethics challenges us all to reflect on our thinking about ethics, sex and sexual behaviour. There is good coverage of assessment, formulation and treatment with excellent case studies to illustrate the process. Interventions are drawn from the field of sexology and utilise variety of psychotherapy modalities including a consideration of the Memorandum of Understanding on Conversion Therapy and the dangers the clinician faces in accidental conversion therapy. What shines through this book is Silva’s passion for his subject and his compassion for his clients. It is an excellent, clearly written book that is essential reading for experienced clinicians as well as those in training."

Jo Coker. COSRT Professional Standards Manager and Chair of the Professional Standards Board. HCPC Counselling Psychologist and a COSRT senior accredited psychosexual therapist, accredited clinical supervisor and accredited mediator. Fellow of COSRT. 

"After years of study and clinical practice with the presenting issue of unwanted sexual behaviours, Silva Neves is clear that the sex addiction approach is inadequate. In this much needed book he refocuses the therapist to explore the client’s erotic template and the drivers behind their compulsivity, rather than on behavioural prevention. He offers a trauma informed, three phase treatment approach to the resolution of compulsivity, that honours the unique sexuality and sexual expression of the client. This book is a generous sharing of Silva’s experience with the evident intention to help its reader to provide a sexology informed, non-shaming service to clients presenting with the complex experience of sexual compulsivity. It is research based, contemporary, inclusive and pluralistic. It is a must read for all professionals working with the themes of sex, relationships, addiction and compulsion."

Julie Sale. Director of The Institute of Clinical Sexology. COSRT Senior Accredited Sex and Relationship Therapist and Supervisor. UKCP Registered and Accredited Psychotherapist

The Handbook of Social Justice in Psychological Therapies.

Power, Politics, Change

Edited by Laura Anne Winter & Divine Charura

Are you looking for a psychological therapy textbook with social justice at its centre? Just can't seem to find a comprehensive textbook that aligns with your attitudes toward positive changes in psychological professions?

This three-part book sets out the core principles for social justice in the psychological therapies. In Part 1 you'll be introduced to Social Justice Theory in the psychological therapies, covering identity and intersectionality and integrating the psychological and socio-political.

In Part 2, you can expand on your knowledge with Social Justice informed therapeutic practice, which looks at the ways in which social class, race, disability, and other minoritised identities can inform therapeutic practice.

In Part 3, you will look Beyond the therapy room, and explore how to apply your social justice knowledge to clinical supervision, community psychology and other non-traditional therapeutic models.

Supported by a wealth of features including reflective and critical thinking questions, case studies, and recommended further reading resources, this book will help equip you with the knowledge, skills and attitude to work as a more socially conscientious practitioner.

Chapter contribution:

Chapter 12: Social Justice Informed Therapy and Sexuality

Queering Gestalt Therapy

An Anthology on Gender, Sex & Relationship Diversity in Psychotherapy

Edited By Ayhan Alman, John Gillespie, Vikram Kolmannskog

The first peer-reviewed book of its kind, this important volume addresses a current gap in the field of gestalt therapy: that the practice—and psychotherapy more broadly—still suffers from pervasive hetero- and cis-normativity.

This book offers gestalt-therapy-based research and training material on gender, sex, and relationship diversity (GSRD), including chapters on a variety of GSRD issues and how therapists can become more GSRD-sensitive. The contributors position themselves across the whole spectrum of GSRD and offer their voices as an invitation to further queer the gestalt community with diverse content ranging from academic, research-oriented pieces to experiential, reflective perspectives. Featured chapters explore topics including gender-radical clients, sex and sexuality, relationship diversity, integrating GSRD and gestalt therapy, and addressing heteronormativity in gestalt therapy training.

Queering Gestalt Therapy is for everyone who is interested in gender, sex, and relationship diversity, especially as they relate to gestalt therapy practice. This book will be especially useful for therapists, supervisors, coaches, and students of gestalt therapy.

Chapter contribution:

Chapter 9: Compulsive sexual behaviours: Moving beyond the frontiers of addiction thinking

The SAGE Handbook of Counselling & Psychotherapy Fifth Edition

Edited by Terry Hanley & Laura Anne Winter

The most comprehensive and accessible introduction to the field of counselling and psychotherapy for trainees and practitioners.

Chapter contributions co-authored with Dominic Davies:

Chapter 2.10: Sexuality

Silva Neves and Dominic Davies

Chapter 5.13: Gender, Sex and Relationship Diversity Therapy

Dominic Davies and Silva Neves

Contemporary psychotherapy: Evolution in our modern time

European Journal of Psychotherapy & Counselling (Routledge)

This article is a response to the papers in this special issue. It argues that change and learning is necessary to keep a contemporary psychotherapy practice. However, it asserts that change is also difficult because allowing ourselves to face our ‘blind spots’ may provoke uncomfortable feelings such as shame. It is therefore important for psychotherapists to be robust in managing the discomfort of learning. With this in mind, the article comments on the papers in this issue, which pay attention to the diversity of our modern populations – including LGBTQ+ people, people of diverse ethnic and racial identities and disabled people. The article argues that by embracing diversity the psychotherapy profession can continue to evolve, enabling it to support diverse communities in the best way possible. It asserts that each of the articles in this special issue invites the reader into a deep self-reflection, helping them to consider all the nuances of difference constructively.

Compulsive Sexual Behaviour: A Paradigm Shift

New Psychotherapist (UKCP Magazine. Issue 78/ Autumn 2021) Feature Article: Compulsive Sexual Behaviour: A Paradigm Shift.

Psychotherapists need to move away from thinking about compulsive sexual behaviour as an addiction towards a more humanistic and pluralistic framework.

The religious disguise in "sex addiction" therapy

Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal. COSRT (Routledge)

DOI: 10.1080/14681994.2021.2008344


"In this essay I will discuss the conceptualisation of “sex addiction” programmes and treatments in relation to its religious positions. Both the official book of Sex Addicts Anonymous and “sex addiction” experts proclaim to offer a non-religious solution suitable for all people suffering from “sexual addiction” however a brief overview of some current texts reveals strong religiosity. In popular discourse, the USA is often perceived as more religious than the UK because of its puritan past. Whilst the UK is perceived to be more “sex positive,” I will demonstrate that religiosity amongst “sex addiction” experts in the UK is also strong, and perhaps more covert. This essay covers the problematic use of the integration of 12-step programmes in therapeutic treatments for sexual compulsivity. I will challenge the conceptualisation of “sex addiction,” primarily how experts promote support groups such as SAA and SLAA. The philosophy of these support groups is in direct contradiction with the knowledge of sexology and some basic psychotherapy principles. I argue that incorporating a 12-step philosophy (and inserting religiosity without client’s consent) into therapy can make sexual compulsivity worse because of increasing shame and colluding with a power imbalance between therapist and client. I propose that it is not possible to be both “sex positive” and promoting the conceptualisation of “sex addiction.”

Are You GSRD Competent?

Ethical working with gender, sexual and relationship diversity.

(Therapy Today. June 2023. Volume 34. Issue 5)

EMDR Journal

September 2019:

I have published a peer-reviewed clinical paper on treating compulsive sexual behaviours with EMDR.

© Silva Neves

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